haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
MIDGETS
????
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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