I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
