I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
