Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
