K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize