I want to walk on stilts...naked
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
