I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize