I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Drunk is not a location!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
