Who wears a wallet chain?!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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