Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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