Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
