What a fucking waste of an outfit
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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