What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
