a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
