I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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