apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
