singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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