He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
