By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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