I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
