I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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