So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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