You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
