I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
