Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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