**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
