You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
