all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
