thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
