I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
