ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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