New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
