Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
