U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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