the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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