her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
