I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize