She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
