help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
