I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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