I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize