I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
