i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
