Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
