don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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