I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
