Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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