so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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