This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
