omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
babies were throwing up all over the place
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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