Whod you bang
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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