nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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