I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
