I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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