did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
