I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
