Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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