Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
