Nicole vs. Life
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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