Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
